HERO????

I remember waking up to a frightened and distressed cry from outside my bedroom which i shared with my three sisters . I remember being very scared but i got up anyway to investigate what was happening . I went out of our bedroom straight to where my parents bedroom was and i distinctly remember my mum crying in terror and calling out PA , PA ....
I look up to see why my mum was so distressed and it registered.... my parent's bedroom is on fire !!
I saw my dad with a sheet in his hand trying to put out this angry entity that was eating one of the walls of their bedroom. The fire was so uncontrollable that it has made it's way up to the ceiling.
I ran outside to where the backdoor was where we had a drum of water, grabbed a large cooking pot from the kitchen, ran straight back to my parent's room and threw the water on to the fire .
In my terrified state, i also accidentally let go of the cooking pot .
My father later told me that he screamed at me " Grab your sisters , get them out of the house!!!"
He may have . I do not remember it . All i remember was , i was running to our bedroom, woke my three sisters up and led them to the backdoor outside our home.
I watched all three sisters go in front of me through the backdoor. Once all three of them was out i followed and just when i got out ,our gas tank that was connected to our kitchen stove (portable) i believe , burst into flames.
It's funny because i also seem to remember my third youngest sister screaming out all through this "Wait! wait! Hush and Betty (our two little dogs)" She then grabs their leads and took them with her out safely away from the fire .
Outside there seemed to be hundred people watching the fire , I remember my father trying to save his motorbike from the house . It seemed like a long time before mum and dad gave up trying to save the house.
I don't remember seeing any firefighters coming to help us . All i remember was watching our home completely being consumed to the ground by the fire and my mother 's voice crying in the background saying Pa !Pa! our house .... our house .... repeatedly.
Then somehow my grandmother and my grandfather was there . I distinctly remember my grandfather taking one look at the house , then at my mom and him putting his hand into his pocket ,draws money out and gives it to my mother who then completely breaks down and grabs hold of him.
People called me a hero then, they keep recounting how calm i was all then and how together i was. My sisters thanks me every time this memory is dredged up proclaiming that i saved their lives.
But the one thing i never told them or anyone is that to this day, I sometimes wake up in terror, i sometimes wake up screaming Fire! Fire! Fire! Is this how a hero acts???
No, I am no hero. I am a FRAUD for really inside where no one knows , where no one could possibly see is that I AM A QUIVERING MESS.